I once prided myself on being a practical guy who could take care of myself with an everyday, no-nonsense approach to life. I thought I was a tough person to fool, and was often suspicious of people who showed large emotion, thinking it was inevitably insincere. But I was also desperate to have big feelings […]
Flattery or Criticism: Which Do Men Truly Want?
First presented in a public seminar at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, New York City.
Though men have been in a fight about it, I’ve seen through my own life and the men my colleagues and I teach that what a man truly wants from the people he knows is honest criticism, not flattery. Men haven’t known this consciously, and also have been terrifically misled by the false way criticism […]
How Can a Man Be Rightly Sure of Himself?
With a consideration of the film, “The Apartment.” First presented at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, NYC
Like many men, I thought I would be sure of myself if I made a lot of money, had nice clothes, a substantial career and impressive friends. Though I tried to act like a “nice guy,” I went after these things aggressively. But even as I got many of them I felt empty, and with […]
Can Exuberance Be Sensible?—Hans Hofmann’s “Rhapsody”
When I first saw the painting “Rhapsody” by the abstract expressionist painter Hans Hofmann, I immediately liked the brightness and variety of the colors and forms. As I studied it, I saw that this painting affected me because it answers some of the deepest questions of people’s lives—of my life. I think “Rhapsody” and why […]
Toughness & a Feeling Heart—Can a Man Have Both?
With a consideration of “The Call of the Wild” by Jack London. First presented at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, NYC
Every man wants to feel he’s strong—that he’s sharp, can take care of himself and not be pushed around. We also want to have large feelings, be swept by the beauty and honesty of a woman, the grandeur of a sunset. Can we have both toughness and big feelings, can we be strong and tender, […]